ABOUT OUR BELOVED SON'S TIMELINE

Chad and I had to use fertility doctor to become pregnant.  We had a 6% chance of conceiving when we got pregnant due to the situation at the time.  We went to Michigan over Thanksgiving and on Thanksgiving Day I decided to take a test to see if I was pregnant.  I could not belive it - it worked.   We were so so happy. We told everyone and no one could believe it.  We saw our one doctor for 12 weeks and then switched back to our regular OB doctor.  Everything looked great.  I was also seeing a high risk doctor due to developing diabetes and my age.  But everything was under control and things.

Around 5 months I started to feel Chase kick, and day by day I felt him kick more and more.  I thought "wow this little boy is going to give me a run for my money.  Chad got  orders to go to Iraq for 4 months. Things were still okay.  I was going in for stress test every few days and everything looked good. Chase was going to be born July 20th by a c-section.  4 days before that, I went back to the doctor for a stress test and my worst fears were confirmed.  They told me to go to the hospital stat.  I had an ultrasound and it confirmed that there was not a heartbeat.  My beautiful baby died 4 days beforehe was to be born.

I thought I was going to die.  I just cried and cried, I had the radiolgist trying to console me.  I then called my parents who rushed down to be with me.  I was released from the hospital and was to come back the next day to deliver.  I also had to call Chad in Iraq and tell him the news. It was devastating.  He was able to come home 2 days later and see Chase.
  Well my water broke that night and I was back in the hospital.  I had to watch my fluid drain knowing that I was about to give birth to my precious son who would not be breathing. I just laid there and there was a peace around me that at least allowed me to get through that surgery, that at least I was able to handle it for the moment. My mom, dad and sister were there with me.  Thank god for family.  I had a 4 day hospital stay and then was released. 
We had a graveside service where immediate and some extended family came. It was as nice as it could be.  I had this song "Bridge Over Troubled Water Play & It is Well with My Soul".  As the funeral was just ready to start a butterfly flew over the casket and my sister and I just looked at each other, like maybe that was a sign from Chase.  I had our pastor say a few words, and I so appreciated his message.

I just want anyone who reads my site to know, that when someones baby dies, how much those cards and phone calls meant. Even though I was not in my right from of mind for 2 months I still knew that people cared.  It is the hardest thing to bury your hopes and dreams - when you bury a child.  That is what it was for Chad and I.  We know now that God has a reason for everything. Although we have no idea why we want to believe that something good will come of this.  I know one thing, making it to Heaven is a priority to us even more knowing that we want to see our son someday, and our heavenly father who has watched him and looks down on us and comforts us.  Jesus said in the bible, "Let the children come unto me", andI do believe that our son was welcome into Heavens gates.

Thank you for viewing Chase's site.