Chase.. / Tamara (mommies sg sister )
please send your mommy some extra angel kisses today as she light a candle in your memory. Close

Angels watching over us  / Aunt Heather Kessler (Aunt)

My dear little nephew,

I haven't written in awhile, because I have been preparing for a little one of my own. While I think of you daily, I thought it was time to write a little here to share some of my thoughts.

Let me first start by saying you are missed, and will never be forgotten. I do believe you are our Angel watching over us and I am thankful for that.

As the time draws closer for my delivery (13days) I can't help but re-live at times what my sister went through last year... as you know I was by her side in the hospital day and night. I sometimes get that thought in my mind when we were leaving the hospital with everything but you and I get a sick feeling in my belly. Especially being a mommy now for the first time- that feeling is almost unbearable to think about. And so I think of the words that Pastor Mark spoke about in January.... "Fear Not". Those words have really helped during this pregnancy.

I think about all I have to look forward to. I see the joy my nieces and nephews have brought to our family and I cannot wait to contribute to that joy. Like I said before- I know you are watching over us and will be the little angel guiding my precious little Leah into this world, for that I thank you and love you.

Tonight at 7pm I will light a candle in your memory and in memory of all the lost infants- but also in light on the future and what is to come- hope, love and joy.

Good bye for now my precious nephew.

Love you.

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Memories of babies  / Odette T. (His mommy's friend )

Heidi, you are so very brave. I did not even know you had made this memorial site. Well the truth is that I probably would not have been able to share it with you both because I have had such tremendous difficulty processing my loss. Yes it's been two years and yet I still don't know how to communicate to those around me what and how I've felt. I want to thank you for being persistent in sharing with me. I wasn't ready to receive before but I think I'm ready to try. In your own special ways you, Chase, Chad and Taylor have been good help for my healing journey. I thank you.

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Thoughts and Prayers  / Erin Powers (friend)

Our thoughts and prayers are with your famiy

Hugs,

The Powers' Family

(Waiting form Maia in China)

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Birthday Memories  / Aunt Heather Kessler (Aunt)

My precious nephew,

My thoughts have been with you all day. And the butterfly which passed me this morning was enough to bring that smile to my face. I was hoping to see one when putting the balloon at your resting place... but what matters is I saw a beautiful butterfly minutes later..all by itself flying freely.

I know you celebrated with PopPop Hoshauer today and our other family members. I also am believing you will contiinue to be my unborn childs guardian angel as well as our families. You are thought of so often... still with thoughts of why? But although we may never know or understand I know God does and for this reason we must believe in a higher plan.... but that is only until we meet someday in heaven...

Please give your mother peace this evening as she lays her head on her pillow thinking of you. She especially misses you... although she is overjoyed with blessings bestowed upon her she still and always will miss you. Peace...little buddy..peace....

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Give your mom strength during this time  / Aunt Heather Kessler (aunt)

Dear beloved Chase-

As I know you are watching over us every second of everyday.... I have faith and hope that you will give my sister the strength she needs in the next year...

As you know she is adopting, your daddy is in Iraq... and now new news in the family she has also learned about...

Many things go through her mind every minute of every day. As she stated in her message.. one thing that I know has changed me for the better is how I live everyday, since you left our lives. Everyday is a gift, one that cannot be taken lightly. I appreciate my days so much more, and the people in my life so much more than ever before. Life is truly precious.... friends and family cannot be taken for granted.... for this I thank you for re-instilling the importance of this. My sister and I have always been close and in the past seven months... have become closer than ever before.

I will continue to be a support for her daily.. as much as possible.. in whatever she needs.

Thank you for watching over us.. and tell my pop pop hello... he probably loves having his grandson with him!

 

We love you and miss you-

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Missing you  / Missing You MOM (Mom)
Dear Chase,

Today is 5 months.  5 months since this life sentence of missing you has begun.  5 months withouty you.  I miss you every day, I think about you, wonder what went wrong.  I know you are in a better place and that does give me some strength but the selfish side of me wants you here with me for Christmas.  Celebrating Christmas with your big extended family.  But instead I had empty arms of what would have been.  I just want you to know I love you, your sister talks about you like you are with us all the time.  She believes you are an angel.  She draws all these family pictures of her mom, dad, her and adopted brother to be... and you and angel floating above us.  We are adopting a little boy from China, and I am very happy about this.  I feel that you are a thread that connected us to him.  It was quite a miracle how I found out about him.  He doesn't at all take away the pain of missing you, my hopes and dreams vanashed for you.  I have all my momentos of you packed in a box that I pull out when I want to think of you.  I have the blanket you were wrapped in.  I just wanted to write something so you know that you are loved and thought of all the time.  I have no idea why this happened but some day we will see you again.  You have such a loving family to meet when we all go to heaven.

Love Mom Close

Heaven Shines Brighter  / Jenna Steele (Friend)
It really must be true that God takes the very best first in order to have angels to look over the rest of us. The world has lost a precious light, but the Heavens will shine so much brighter with Chase being there. Heidi, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Close

Precious Angel  / Rachael Hermiller (friend)
My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.  Chase Gavin Zeigler is a precious angel and even though he was only here for such a short time, he is loved by so many people! Your precious angel certainly has his wings! Close

In Our Hearts Forever  / Donine Kelly (Friend)
Dear Heidi & Family.  I can only imagine the pain that you and your family have been feeling.  You have been in my thoughts and prayers since that night I talked with Heather as she drove back to NJ to be by your side.  I am so sorry for your loss and heartache and I pray that you are able to heal over time.  We all know that everything happens for a reason.  Even though you don't know what the reason is, someday God will answer that for you.  Chase will always be your beautiful baby boy and a big part of your lives as he lives in your heart and is your Guardian Angel watching over you and your family.  Hopefully that in itself can give you some comfort.  If there is every anything I can do, please let me know.      Close

My prayers are with you and your family.  / Pamela Van Zyl (RN)
Dear Heidi and family-My name is Pam Van Zyl and I am one of the nurses who took care of you at the hospital. Thank you so much for your beautiful letter and kind words. You have such a loving and supportive family. I was truly touched by all of you. I have cared for many families who have experienced a loss. As a care provider it is difficult to find the right words to say during those times.  We want to take all the pain away and make everything ok.Its the reason I chose this profession. I just want you to know that I will never forget Chase Gavin Zeigler and all the other little angels.God bless him and you and your beautiful family. Sincerly Pam Van Zyl Close

My nephew  / Heather Kessler (aunt)

I was honored to be with my sister from the first night Chase was born, until the day she left the hospital. It was by far the hardest thing I have ever experienced in my life. One minute we are planning for the future, laughing, sharing, and anticipating all the excitement to come- with my sister who has been my best friend throughout my life. We Shopped- buying little cowboy and football outfits, wondering if he is going to be a hunter or play sports like the rest of the family men. Then suddenly changing to immediate grief- after nine months of excitement- there is no words to explain the hurt or shock. No way to describe all the questions or pain. No way to take the hurt out of my sisters eyes- that blank stare after she delievered -and still yet to even  hold or see her son- laying there expressionless- in shock, knowing that when that moment came, I would have to be strong. I can say when the nurse- who was an angel herself- from Virtua Hospital in Mt.Holly, New Jersey- brought Chase into see my sister for the first time. It was then that the blank stare broke and tears poured down my sisters face, It was then that my mother looked at me, tears in her eyes, It was then that tears filled my eyes like never before, it was then that my sister touched his forehead. This my friends was something that I will never forget. How as a sister can you take that pain away? This is what I stuggled with. Knowing- because I am a social worker by background- that surely I could not, no matter how much I wanted to.
You know the next four days of staying with my sister day and night was something that I would not have missed for the world. I know that she now does not remember that- but that is okay. I will always be at peace with this in myself. I was able to lift her feet in and out of bed for her, every time she needed to go to the bathroom- I was able to walk with her- and give her the pillow for support to her stomach as she walked. I was able to put that compicated bootie thing on her feet everytime she got back in bed- knowing that I had to move the fan just so the air hit her right.  I was able to lotion her legs and paint her toe nails. I was able to hear the doctors and the nurses speak with her and hear the wisdom, knowledge, and empathy they had. I had never witnessed such a doctor that cared so much as I did with Dr. Grossman- he was amazing to me and and how he cared for my sister during this time. Working in Long Term Care seeing such compassion with a physician is not a common thing. The nurses- all of them were also angels- initially, after my sister delivered they told us they were taking her to another area in the hospital for her permanent room. To my mothers and my surprise- the bed they gave to my sister was on the pediatric unit. Anger filled me, immediately- and initially I said to the nurse behind the desk- have you no compassion? Is this how cold you people are- putting my sister on a pediatric unit when she just lost her baby boy? (there was "Blues Clues", etc. painted on the walls) The nurse replied- "this is the only room available- we can change the room tomorrow as others are available". Well- turns out - God knew what was happening and he had control over the situation. 1) God had my sister's water break Monday night so she wouldn't have to go through the entire night at home with Chase in her stomach, knowing he was no longer living, and knowing the next day he would be removed from her belly. 2) My sister did not have to deliver in the midst of 20 other babies being born in the middle of the day- having to hear cries of babies and joys that are exhibited during this time by proud parents. It was very quiet in the late evening hours- for this I do thank God for. 3)  And, actually being on the pediatric unit was a blessing- we had a private room, and of course had a fan- as is a requirement in the Hoshauer household-so we couldn't hear what was happening outside our room, but most importantly the staff on the unit were by far the angels and support only nurses which have been trained in situations like this could assist in. They were very attentive to my sister- so compassionate and empathetic. For me- supportive- if my sister finally fell asleep- even if it was for an hour- I could go right out the room and the nurses station was there and hug a nurse and just cry. I could not have done that on another unit. God knew this- so needless to say when that room on another unit was offered we declined. My apology also given to the nurse I initially made the not so nice comments to. And even then her response was "You have no reason to apologize." 
I was blessed to have held my nephew on Monday night and on Thursday morning. I have to say he was by far the most beautiful and perfect baby I have ever seen. Initially, Monday night, he was purplish in color, however on Thursday- he was the most precious angel you have ever seen- his cheeks just Rosey as can be- and then the question- how can something so perfect such as this perfect baby not just cry one time- laugh one time- something- do something- you just have to - that was my thought. I am honored to have had the chance to hold my precious angel nephew twice. He will always be in my heart. 
The past few weeks have been tough- for everyone. Of course the toughest on my sister. I am thankful that we have the family in which we do. My parents were the angels in which tok Taylor, my niece for the week and took care of the nursery, etc. at my sister's house. My parents have built a family that is so strong and supportive of each other. Always stressing that "family will always be there for each other." Because of this we as a family have become even closer than ever. During this time we have all pulled together and have supported Heidi, Chad and Taylor. We continue to learn about the happenings surrounding this day- and reflect - and hope for the future. Thank you for all who have supported my sister and our family during this time. We were blessed to see Chase and hold him- we are now blessed because he is watching over us in heaven- he is our angel.
 

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My thoughts and prayers for your beautiful boy Chase  / Keri (mommyof4oneangel) From SG
Your Chase was absolutely beautiful and my heart breaks along with you.  You are always in my thoughts and prayers.  (((HUGS))) Close

Beautiful Angel Chase  / Mdina

Your Beautiful Boy - I'm so sorry, so very sorry for your heartache. Till you hold him again, wishing you comfort and love.

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So sorry for your loss  / Kiley Zoeysmommy4ever On SG
I am so sorry for the loss of your precious little man! I will be praying for you and your family@ I hate it that we are all left here to mourn those precious angels  that are in Heaven.

(((HUGS))))
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I am so sorry  / Faith Garrettzmommy (from SilentGrief )
I can't tell you how hard it is for me to see his picture. He was so beautiful. I am so sorry that we share this familiar bond because I know the heartache and loss. I am here if there is anything I can do. He is a beautiful angel. Close

Sorry for your loss  / Wendy

I just wanted to say how sorry I am for the loss of your beautiful little boy. I too lost my daughter Hannah on 4-12-00. She was also full term and died during birth. {{hugs}}

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